The 555 postpartum guideline.

My Experience With It

I was amazed how accurate this timeline was. With each new part it felt so fitting.

I could not sit up without pain the first 5 days - definitely not walk.
I started to feel okay sitting a little after the 5 days.
After that, I felt okay walking around gently.

I was actually advised by my midwives to do a 7-7-7 instead of a 5-5-5 due to the state of my yoni after birth. I ended up following something in-between and probably rested for 3 weeks in total, while starting to leave the room slowly after 15 days already.

The Emotional Reality

It is a very vulnerable time.

Finding the balance between feeling guilty that someone has to do everything for you and learning to ask for what you need - while also feeling into what you are actually able to do - brings up a lot.

You won’t do it perfectly.

You will sit up too early and regret it later. I would cry in my partner’s arms out of frustration that I sat up when I shouldn’t have and was in pain from it. I tried to walk and ended up crying again in frustration that I couldn’t just do what I needed.

You will do it imperfectly. But as long as you mostly follow this guideline, you will be okay.

Of course you will shower and go to the bathroom. But that’s really all you should be doing.

Preparation

If you are not getting out of bed, someone needs to tend to you.

Examples of some needs:

• Water bottle fill-ups (a lot of them)

• Nutrition and meals

• Anything you need in the bed for yourself and baby

• A station of all things baby right next to you

I recommend having honest conversations with your partner and seeing what he is available for. If they are not available, or you are not with the father of the baby, I recommend finding another person who can support you right after birth. It can be a family member or close friend.

Honesty is really important so they are aware that you will be fully reliant on them - while caring for a baby that is fully reliant on you. Whoever comes in should understand that this is in service to the mother, so there is no misunderstanding once the time comes.

Make a list of your needs and your household’s needs. See how they can be covered while you are out of regular functioning. Also consider childcare for any other children you might have.

When the Village Is Broken

What was important for me to acknowledge is that I might not be able to put all of this on my immediate support network - because the village is broken and we need to be honest about this.

Needing support to this degree is hard for any one person to provide. It was meant to be provided by a whole community.

So I filled in the blanks by hiring help in the household: laundry, cleaning, meal prep.

Why It Mattered

I loved those 15 days with my baby. They were hard and the most precious at the same time.

It was just me and her watching the sun set over the ocean from bed, painting the sky in colors daily. Watching the trees dance in the wind.

I knew I had to cherish this time with my first baby - not having other kids to care for and having the ability to just be with her and myself. Just the two of us. In our sanctuary.

I could not imagine not having prepared the way I did, and I find this essential for any woman to consider.

Unexpected things will happen. But some things are only “unexpected” because of a lack of planning. If it can be avoided, it is worth making sure of everything ahead of time.

The 5-5-5 was a great method I used. There is so much more I learned through this process and my intentional studies of birth and postpartum throughout my pregnancy.

The knowledge changed my experience and aligned it with my needs after birth. And we are never taught about this (when really it should be taught in school). So as women, we need to teach one another.

A Note on Privilege

I acknowledge that I am privileged to be able to have the life I have created and been supported in creating.

Every woman has different resources and options. This does not mean you have to follow this exactly.

Making it possible for myself was a worthwhile challenge that fortunately became reality. It took effort and sacrifice, but it felt worth it for me and I would do it the same way again.

I encourage every woman to think outside the box about how you can create your own version of this - and in the end, you fully decide what is best for you in your unique position.